People often make the assumption that abuse is physical. Abuse is more than hitting or slapping. People who are being abused tend to know when behaviours are abusive. They know that something is not right. You may not know what it is initially. Learn to Trust yourself. Be an expert in your own life!
Abuse can be many different things but it is always an attempt to control the behaviour of another person. It is a misuse of power.
Profiling the Abuser
In addition to the definitions below, we also provide an overview on this site of David Adams’ EdD Myths of Abusers, in which Mr. Adams examines the myths of abusers against the reality of an abuser. Review Mr. Adams’ profile of the abuser here.
Definitions Index
Emotional or psychological abuse
Isolation
Intimidation
Economic / Financial Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Spiritual Abuse
Emotional or psychological abuse:
- Insults
- name calling
- belittling
- constant criticisms
- Attacking a person’s belief system or culture
- Abusing or neglecting children and attempting to stop the mother from intervening
- Mocking the victim and/or humiliating her
- Using the victim’s lack of legal right to get more power and control over her. (People in common-law relationships, homosexual relationships, or immigrants without citizenship status are examples of groups that have not been granted full legal rights.)
- Extreme jealousy to threatened suicide
Isolation:
- Attempting to stop the victim from having access to family and/or friends
- Attempting to stop her from having social contacts, outside interests, and/or work
- Jealousy
- Taking away the victim’s access to a vehicle or transportation
Intimidation:
- Destruction of property
- Attempting to control what a person says or does not say
- Attempting to make the victim account for every minute of her day
- Threatening to hurt anyone who helps the victim
- Threatening to hurt or kill children, pets, friends, or family
- Threatening to commit suicide
- Attempting to control with fear
- Telling the victim that she is a bad mother
- Threatening to be abusive if the victim refuses to cooperate
- Threatening to disclose the victim’s sexual orientation if she does not do what the perpetrator wants
Economic / Financial Abuse:
- Keeping money from the family, attempting to stop the victim from earning money
- Forcing the family to live in poverty when money is available
- Attempting to force her to hand over money
- Attempting to force her to account for how she spends money
Physical Abuse:
- Murder attempts
- Attempting to strangle, break bones, or knife the victim
- Locking the victim out of the home or abandoning her in an unsafe place
- Shooting or using other weapons
- Grabbing, pushing, shoving, slapping, punching, kicking,
- Hitting, slapping, pulling hair, biting
Sexual Abuse:
- Forced unwanted sex
- Forcing sex with objects, animals, friends
- Demanding that the victim wears more (or less) provocative clothing
- Insisting that the victim act out pornographic fantasies
- Denying her sexuality
- Unwanted touching
- Making degrading sexual comments; leering
- Making threats if she does not comply with sex
- Pressuring to have sex
Spiritual Abuse:
- Ridiculing a victims religious / spiritual beliefs
- Attempting to stop her from practicing or participating in spiritual practices
- Using spirituality / religion as a way to attempt to control and manipulate the victim
- Destroying spiritual scriptures or objects
- Attempting to force or pressure her to accept spiritual beliefs or engage in spiritual practices
